Tag Archives: coping mechanism

The Red Umbrella

Do you have a special place to go for 30 minutes, when you can’t take the day off,  or a weekend?  But, things keep piling up on you.  You’re feeling overwhelmed or frustrated.

It helps me to find a quiet place by myself with a big glass of water, if it’s early in the day, or a glass of wine if it’s evening.  It gives me a minute to reflect on what’s happening and why I’m reacting the way I am.

In colder weather, I have a window seat in a cantilevered cubby that’s a perfect place to read or to write or to think.

In the warmer weather, I crank up the red umbrella on my back deck and sit under its rosy glow.  It is an artificial enclave; but, it does the trick.  I feel embraced in a reflected light that is at once comforting and liberating.  That’s my best explanation.  Well, yes, it’s all in my mind.  I’m grateful that my mind will do that for me.

I have a friend that doesn’t know how to say no.  She is the kindest, most compassionate person I know.  To the naked eye, she is superwoman.  Inside, she admits, she often feels overwhelmed and frustrated.  When she recognizes these feelings building, she calls a friend and makes an appointment for lunch the next week…..so she has something to look forward to.

The first time she called me for a lunch date, I asked her if everything was okay.  I thought something was wrong and she needed to talk.  She laughed and explained this was her coping mechanism.  I was so impressed.

We all need a coping mechanism.  During the holidays, that need becomes even more pronounced.  If you don’t already have one, this might be a good time to take a good look at your life, what or who pushes your buttons and formulate a coping mechanism uniquely your own.

I was struck by what Finnick Odair said to Katniss in the Hunger Games Mockingjay Part 1.  He said…..it takes 10 times longer to put yourself together than it does to fall apart.  So, an ounce of prevention…..you know what I mean?  A red umbrella is not a bad idea.