Tag Archives: painting

Analyzing My Evolution


I enjoy blogging.   I enjoy writing about things that interest me.  I find that the more I think about a subject, the more interested I become.

This world is full of fascinating things, people and ideas.   Once I get an idea, I’m like a dog with a bone.  I don’t want to let it go.  I talk about it.  I write in my journal about it.   I google it.  Once I goggle several aspects of it, it expands. I see references to it everywhere.  How or why does that happen?   ???   I just does.  It’s a fact.  It’s the Law of Attraction at work.

Then these ideas seem to dovetail over time with each other.  It’s a natural evolution.  I just sit back and watch them expand.  And not just expand, but deepen, become richer and more meaningful.  Life is just like that.  Everywhere around me I see beauty and fascinating  life.  I’m surrounded by a beautiful dance…..It’s a dance, a do-si-do of people and animals, nature , weather, constant movement.  The music we move to is always changing, the rhythm, the beat, is exciting and compelling or relaxing and soothing…..always changing.

I went to Disneyland, California Adventure, Universal Studios on one of those park hopping passes with my family.  About the third day, don’t even ask me which park it was…..it’s all a blurr, I was pushing a stroller with two grandkids through a maze, a mass of fun-loving families, and two people suddenly cut diagonally across in front of me.  I jerked back on the stroller to avoid clipping off their ankles.  They were totally unaware of the danger they had dodged.  And…..a man with a stroller coming from the opposite direction also jerked to a stop to avoid a head on collision with them.  Ours eyes met, registered the situation, and we burst out laughing at the same time.  He said, “It’s a dance”, as we passed by each other.  At that moment, I felt at one with the world.  Happy and satisfied.  It is a dance.

That’s the way I paint.  Moving to an unseen cadence that carries with it moods, emotions, feelings.  I love my life.  I love the time I spend painting.  I love seeing the way I feel splashed down on paper.  Sometimes it’s quick, sloppy movements, sometimes it’s careful, deliberate strokes.  I can look over a painting several inches at a time…..a finished painting and feel the emotions and interest with which I laid down the paint.

I live my life the way I paint.  Sometimes I slap-dash.  Sometimes I’m more deliberate.  It’s all in my mood.Sometimes activities require more attention to detail.  Sometimes I’m trying to  figure something out.  Other times I’ve set an intention beforehand and am more or less acting by instinct, moment by moment, letting feelings and emotions carry me.

I’m coming to realize:  It’s all good!  I’m coming to accept I’m doing the best I can with what I know.  And that’s okay.  It’s enough!  What I know keeps expanding and through that process, I realize I’m appreciating more.  I’m appreciating the inspired moments; and, I’m appreciating the downtime, the contemplative moments.  They all combine to form the dance of my life, the rhythm and joy of my life!  Can it be any better than this?

Your Greatest Happiness


Are you happy?  What makes you happy?  What stands in the way of your happiness?  Who have you assigned to be responsible for your happiness?  I often repeat the trite phrase that we all say lately…..”I am responsible for my own happiness”.  But, often, when things don’t go my way, I find myself blaming others for the way I don’t adapt and put my own priorities first.

I recently decided to get to the bottom of these questions in my own life.  Once I decided what makes me happy (not an easy task, it took some thinking), I realized what makes me happy is not what I spend most of my time doing.  Why is that?

I decided to make a list of the things I do each day and then start at the top and ask myself why I was doing “that” instead of what makes me happy.

I asked myself how many of these things are taking me where I want to go?  This is an interesting exercise.  You might want to try it and see how many things you do because you really want to and how many are because others want you to.  I’m not talking about exercising, paying bills or helping a family member or a neighbor.  Those are things I do that are in my own self interest.  They enrich my life.

I decided to get out my machete and whack away.  If the item on the list didn’t contribute to the health of my body, the health of my relationships or my goal toward happiness (for me that meant my time for painting and reading) then it was assigned to someone willing to take it on or whacked off my list.  Whoa…..that sounds harsh!

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Do you love music?  Do you play an instrument and lose track of time when you’re playing it?  Do you love to write, dance, sing, paint, work with wood, pole vault or solve equations? Do you love to use your mind/body to create harmony, beauty and interest in your own life for your own pleasure, your own happiness?  I’m beginning to think that all we need to do is define what we love to do and make what we love to do a top priority.

The Fry Zone

I’ve started painting again.  I took my time gathering all of my supplies from nooks and crannies in the garage and basement.  I had forgotten that part of my life…..the brushes and tubes of paint, of course, but the staple gun and boards the wet paper is stretched on and dried…..the boxes of resist, graphite powder, sketch books, art books and things I don’t even remember using.

Another thing I had forgotten:  the fear of the blank white paper.  Like writer’s block, it can be paralyzing.  I’ve heard of a teacher telling a student “Put your paper on the driveway and run over it with your car tire.  Now, it’s already ruined.  Paint your heart out”.  So, mentally, that’s what I did.

Else and Bob and pink rose 003

Two sessions of sketching and painting and my brain hurts.  It’s fried!  I’m so out of the habit of serious focusing.  Don’t laugh.  The Fry Zone is a real place.  Haven’t you ever been there?